From Fags to Riches – The Diary
Holding the e-cigarette, and thinking quite positively about it. It’s only for five days and at least I’ll have something to smoke. Everything I’ve tried before to try and ditch smoking has taken the actual act of smoking away: gum, mints and patches, and I constantly find that I’m looking for something to do, which is smoke.
Day 1:
It’s not off to a good start, despite my initial optimism. It’s actually only been a half day without smoking. I woke up with a throbbing headache and apart from paracetamol I knew the only other thing that would get me through a Monday morning was a few ciggies.
After a quick puff at lunchtime I went back to work feeling better than I had in the morning, so decided to try the e-ciggie. No one else was in the office so it gave me peace to try it out.
Tolerable is my first thought, it taste nothing like a real cigarette to but I’m still feeling quite optimistic about it.
After dinner is when I normally go out for a smoke but a few chores about the house have momentarily taken my mind off smoking, but only until they’re done with. Now I’m thinking it’s about time for a ciggie so I opt for e-cig. It seems worse this time and doesn’t fully satisfy me need or my want for one.
The night drags in slowly as I think about getting a real ciggie, so I make a cup of tea and sit inside with the e-ciggie again. I try to remind myself of the positives: that I’m not out in the rain, it’s better for my health etc, but it doesn’t compare to the real thing.
After pottering about the house and looking for things to do, it’s finally time for bed and I turn in for the night thinking about smoking.
Day 2:
Woke up and first thought ‘Oh no! I decided I’m not going to smoke today maybe I could just have one now and then I start stopping’ but I managed to resist the urge.
Kept same habit and used e-cigarette when I would normally have had first smoke of the day. Helps a little but don’t feel I’ve had a smoke; the edge has been taken off a little though.
I used e-ciggy when sitting at desk during morning tea break. It didn’t satisfy want for a real smoke. I would normally go outside at tea break to smoke and wondered if keeping the same habit would have helped but thought I’d look pretty daft going outside with a plastic cigarette. I’ve spent the first part of the morning thinking of and wanting a cigarette.
The morning’s pretty tough and I’m having difficulty keeping my concentration on work tasks…cigarette….cigarette. So I’m trying to stop myself from smoking by telling myself I can have one after a few days….helps a little bit.
Used e-ciggie again at desk thinking the nicotine might help but as I don’t normally smoke at my desk it just feels wrong. Now I’ve got a sore stomach and I’m thinking it’s the e-ciggie that’s doing it. It does taste pretty bad, tastes like the smell of burning plastic.
Just about lunch time now and I try the e-cigarette again but I can’t take any more of it and decide to have a real one and feel much better. I’ve decided that it will be my only one today, I reckon I can manage the rest of the day without one now.
Didn’t bother with the e-ciggie after lunch not really craving a cigarette too much
Not long back after lunch and starting to want a smoke. Had a few puffs on the e-ciggie instead. It is time for the afternoon tea break I’m using the e-ciggie again. Cant get peace as a few colleagues are curious about it and are asking annoying questions. I wish they would just piss off and give me peace to try and imagine that I’m really smoking.
Between tea break and home time using the fake fag again. My stomach is a bit sore and I’m feeling a wee bit sick, I’m convinced it’s the fake fag.
Home time and convinced myself not to have a real fag by telling myself I’ll have one before going to bed.
It’s after dinner and am trying to think of other thing to eat as I’m not going out for an after dinner smoke.
Watching the football on TV, it’s pretty boring game and am thinking I’ll go out for a real smoke at half time. I’m wondering if the game really is boring or is it that I just can’t concentrate and get into it.
Half time and I’m not going to smoke as I’ve decided that I’ll definitely have one before bed and I should be able to hang on till then
Had a go with the e-ciggie…it’s not anything like the real thing. I’m thinking it would be better if it was nearer the same size as a real cigarette and the weight of it is such that you can’t hold it like you would a real cigarette I think it must have been a non-smoker that designed it. IT’S NOT A REAL CIGARETTE. Roll on bed time, I’m bored.
I’m feeling quite happy now the day from hell is almost over, I’m going for a real cigarette then bed. This is the earliest I’ve gone to bed for ages.
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