Recomended | Radio Napier

1 Movember Moustache Madness

Hollie Smith

Movember sees men of all ages take to sprouting ‘taches of different forms. There’s the handlebar, the Chaplin ‘tache, the Super Mario ‘tache. The point is there are many iconic moustaches and no doubt we’ll be seeing all sorts growing over the month of November.

The popularity of Movember has undoubtedly grown each year, it’s now on trend every November; dare we say it may be unfashionable not to sprout your own mustache. If you’re a Movember debutant, this year, then fear not! Here are the vital things you need to know.

The aim of Movember is to raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.

“On Movember 1st, guys register at Movember.com with a clean-shaven face and then for the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November and through their actions and words raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health.

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember.

So to get you inspired with Movember here’s a look the top 5 taches we could find. WARNING: May contain excessive hair growth, which some people may find disturbing.

We’ve also persuaded our radio Mo Sistas to Show off thier own Facial Foliage.

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0 The death of the real X Factor

Ben Graham

…the crushingly boring repetition of a song that once meant something to someone…

Being in a flat with a communal living room has advantages and disadvantages for your music taste. Advantages include a broadened spectrum for your musical appetite and the chance to force your own ‘brilliant’ music tastes down other people’s unsuspecting throats (well, my musical tastes are brilliant, for everyone else I will continue to use derogatory and frankly condescending quotation marks).

However, there are several disadvantages to this shared living space. Among the examples of melodic distress I suffer daily is the nightmare of feigning interest in an artist I happen to despise, which is about 99.9% of popular artists today; you will likely be forced to listen to music you consider beneath you, or too simple, which in the case of the UK Top 40, is probably true; and most devastating of all, you will be forced to encounter the harrowing but schmaltzy ordeal that is the X Factor on ITV.

I think I understand it now. Glowing eyed young does wander innocently across the road of fame. Some are instantly splayed across the bonnet of a passing car, landing in a crumpled heap of bones and disappointment. Some are more wily, they have a half decent voice, or a half decent body, and they make it across the road a little bit further before being ensnared in the headlights and forced beneath the wheels into demi-celebrity, daytime talk show oblivion. But nobody ever really makes it across the road, and they never quite meet the echelons of the real musician’s status.

The real problem with this is that we don’t like to think that the musical joie de vivre comes from consumer surveys and a team of PR agents so good they could talk you out of believing in gravity. It’s a nice thought that musicians still bring their own personality to their performance, but with the X Factor the performances are soulless. Every last one of them. No matter how often they play Coldplay over the top and all the judges weep ‘tears of joy’, I have never seen a performance where I saw anything other than the crushingly boring repetition of a song that once meant something to someone. And therein lies the problem, it’s not the singers personality we’re seeing, its a compound of all the audience feedback and marketing nonsense that the judges and creators have been told to smear all over their new-found blank canvasses.

I’m leaving aside the whole building-up of people to an inevitable let down thing, like cooing over how nice it is giving a plane ride to a load of orphaned kittens, then turning your head when the pilot proceeds to open the door and eject every kitten, one by one, out into the wild blue yonder of thirty thousand feet up.

So I’ve come up with an elegant solution to everyone’s problems. The X Factor needs to start taking some responsibility. For the output of consistently faceless automatons I won’t complain, its more for those left helpless and bloodied in the dusty wake of the Simon Cowell et al. dream-smashing-mobile. I think that if the X Factor was forced to follow round the contestants ejected after numerous stages, just to film them for a week in a special ‘return to heart breaking normalcy’ episode, then people might feel a little bit worse about letting these people believe this show will change their lives. We could watch as they weep into their sink full of dishes, gawp at their pathetic crying every time they hear the song that sent them tumbling out of the competition and back into obscurity, and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be forced to leave the living room at seven every Saturday night.

0 Autumn Alternative Warm-up

Jamie Mann and Ben Graham

Don’t let the mysterious heat wave of late September fool you; word is spreading of snow this October; that’s right: treacherous blizzards, frictionless icy pavements and general unhappy freezingness. Fear not though, as October is a busy month for gigs and if you have ever complained about the lack of heat in one of Edinburgh’s pokey venues, then you have a problem.

Here are a few alternative acts, which are worth braving the elements for this week:

Pining for an alternative to the alternative this evening? Feed your soul with the fine quinine of funk, jazz, folk and of course soul at Oxjam’s ‘Soul Food’ event at Bongo Club; all proceeds go to Oxfam; a splendid spread guaranteed.

On Wednesday we’ll be thawing ourselves out in Bannerman’s with the bass-heavy sludge of Oregon’s Yob and the sinister riffs of Dark Castle and Kongh. You can can get a taste of just what goes into Dark Castle gig by watching this video.

Come Friday those of us seeking a more gradual start to the weekend might be found relaxing in Cabaret Voltaire with Bill Wells and Arab Strap’s Aidan Moffat for a Scottish jazzy spoken-word soundtrack. We will understand if you’re washing your hair that night though.

If 70’s progressive rock is your thing then maybe you’ll find yourself watching Caravan at the HMV Picture House on Saturday or even catching-up with the team from Hawklord at Queen’s Hall the following night, as they launch vessels of hard space rock after more than 25 year’s absence.

Should you prefer modern genres, also on Saturday, you may ride the chill wave and bask in the ambience of Londoner, Tropics, for a late live show at Sneaky Pete’s. If you like your music more danceable then head to the Liquid Rooms for some electro house from the fresh-faced Hardwell instead.

The only post-rock chart busters ever, Sigur Rós, are broadcasting their black and white live concert INNI at The Queen’s Hall on the 24th. The Icelanders will be there in spirit but unfortunately not in person; nether the less the venue will surely be filled with gargantuan crescendos and luscious dream pop vocals.

Get comfortable at the Voodoo Rooms on the 27th and take in some blues and learn some doo-woo from Ohio’s Skip ‘Little Axe’ McDonald or drift away in more down-tempo electronica from The Boats, nestled in the depths of Banshee Labyrinth on the same night.

Now to later in the month. Could you be interested in the duel-bass-powered hardcore of Palehorse? Then be taken down with excessive rhythm at Bannerman’s on the 28th. Or keep it simple with Brighton’s British Sea Power, amplifying their melodic indie tunes at the Liquid Room on the 30th.

Finally, are you dressing up with pale make-up, dark eyeliner and smudged lipstick for Halloween? If so, maybe you are The Joker, Robert Smith, or just showing your support for The Cureheads who will be replicating timeless hits from The Cure on All Hallow’s Eve at the Voodoo Rooms.